Flight or Fight?

by: Leo Rosenberg

Five years ago, an ex-Navy SEAL spoke to us at the Junior Tennis Champions Center in College Park, MD. He served on the Green Team, also known as Seal Team 6. The Green Team is the elite unit within the Navy SEALs. Think about how tough this person had to be to belong there. Speaking to us, he kept repeating that "failing is not failure, quitting is."

The quality that makes champions successful is they fight through setbacks and failures. They don't give up just because they're having a bad day or not getting results. Pete Sampras won the US Open with an ankle injury. His ankle swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. He had every reason to quit. But he showed up to each match. To everyone's disbelief, Sampras played well and won.

Many students develop a fear of failure by the age of 8 or 9. Sometimes it is the cautious personality that gets conflicted by the nature of tennis. Tennis, after all, is a game of errors. But usually, it is a parent, coach, or some other mentor who has frowned upon losing for long enough to instill such fear. The pressure on children is often misplaced. To expect a player not to lose is telling that player to hold back, be afraid. But the key to success is to fight through failure and to see it as a challenge to improve.

You cannot grow, learn to walk, talk, be a Navy SEAL, or play tennis well without failing every day. You need to try and try again to improve. But so many tennis players chronically fear failure. Instead of working hard and accepting the process of trial and error, they buckle. I have seen a few talented children quit tennis because they lose too frequently. They would rather not play than participate in losing.

Like anything else, becoming a fighter who does not fear losing is something you can work on. So, here are some tips:

After making a mistake, reason with yourself: (a) ask yourself what happened (b) tell yourself that it's in the past (c) and tell yourself to be emotionally indifferent towards that mistake. Then bring your awareness to the present and focus on what's coming now.

Fight for every ball. If you force yourself to run down every ball and fight for every point, you will start feeling better about your game. I've had important matches where my normal game was not working. But I chased down every ball. It paid off big time.

Be critical of yourself, but do not take it too seriously. After losing a match, think about what happened. Ask yourself, did you give your best? What could you have done better? Did your opponent find weaknesses you were not aware of? What was your state of mind? You can think of more questions to ask. But the main point is that you should be analytical and focus on things you can improve. Don't come up with excuses and never tell yourself that you're not a good player. Learn from mistakes and fight through failure. It's the only way you'll get better.

This article originally appeared on the Kings Highway Tennis Club website.